I am fucking tired.
I am fucking tired of waking up every day to another missing child, another woman murdered, another family crying on national television while the rest of us scroll past grief like it is weather.
I am tired.
Tired of hearing statistics thrown left, right, and centre.
10,581 missing children.
Eight femicide cases every week across different counties.
No proper official records from a government that suddenly goes quiet when women are dying. A government where killings are misclassified, disappearances are never linked to femicide, and countless cases go completely unreported altogether.
10,581 missing children.
Eight femicide cases every week across different counties.
No proper official records from a government that suddenly goes quiet when women are dying. A government where killings are misclassified, disappearances are never linked to femicide, and countless cases go completely unreported altogether.
I am fucking tired that Davine Kwamboka, Anita, Rachel Wandeto, Grace, and two unnamed young girls killed days apart will slowly become numbers in reports and hashtags people stop reposting after a week.
Women and girls who had dreams. Women who wanted to grow old. Girls who probably still had homework unfinished. Women who laughed loudly with their friends. Women who thought they still had time.
Now they are statistics because some weak man decided their lives were disposable.
Then the country moves on.
I am fucking tired of a government that hides behind silence. A government that will show up for photo ops at exhibitions and marches pretending to care while women continue dying. Politicians climbing on stages performing grief for clout while doing absolutely nothing meaningful to stop this violence.
Why are we still stuck in politics of “vote for me, I am a better thief than the last one” while women are being buried every single week?
Why does a female politician publicly humiliate a little girl and get away with it?
I am fucking tired of seeing fear in women’s eyes.
I am fucking tired of watching women on the frontlines of justice become exhausted. Tired of hearing the pain in their voices. Tired of opening my DMs to women asking for help while knowing the weight of what they are carrying is bigger than one person can hold.
Women saying they watched their friends die.
Women scared of the men around them.
Women trapped in marriages they desperately want to escape.
Women trying to survive quietly.
Women scared of the men around them.
Women trapped in marriages they desperately want to escape.
Women trying to survive quietly.
Last year, working on Maskan broke something in me. I do not think I have recovered from sitting with hundreds of names, stories, photos, testimonies, grief, and silence. Holding space for women who no longer have voices because someone took that from them violently.
What must we do?
Tell more stories?
Lock ourselves indoors?
Scream ourselves hoarse in the streets while the government pretends not to hear us?
Sign petition after petition hoping somebody important finally sees us as human beings?
Lock ourselves indoors?
Scream ourselves hoarse in the streets while the government pretends not to hear us?
Sign petition after petition hoping somebody important finally sees us as human beings?
What MUST we do because I am fucking tired.
I am tired of keeping my daughter close to me because trust feels dangerous now. Tired of explaining why she cannot just play outside freely or talk to strangers innocently the way children should be allowed to.
I am fucking tired that we have to constantly fight just to exist safely in this society.
And still, even with exhausted bones and a drained soul, we should not let Davine and Anita and Njeri and all these women become normalised statistics. I refuse to accept that violence against women is just “how the world is.” I refuse to accept that women must survive at the mercy of men.
I am fucking tired.
Oh God! Another one!
-----
Released under: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International license
Thayũ Kilili - Managing Trustee, Creatives Garage
Released under: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International license
Thayũ Kilili - Managing Trustee, Creatives Garage